Does this sound familiar?

You set a fitness goal and you were full of promise. You had plans, goals, schemes, things you wanted to achieve and you were FIRED THE HELL UP. You had a great couple of days, feeling focused, productive and disciplined. Then that work thing came up so you skipped the workout and it was bestie’s birthday meal so you ate and drank in ways you promised yourself you wouldn’t and the next day rolled around and you said ‘ahh, I already messed it up, so I may as well have a treat’ and before you know it, you’re knee deep in empty crisp packets.

Whew. We have all been there; when the little slips come one after another and you’ve just spiralled to a place of complete lack of motivation.

But deep down, you really do want to achieve the things you set out to do, you just reeeaaaaallllllyyyyy can’t be arsed right now.

So, how do you get back on the horse, when you just want to curl up in a blanket fort and only reemerge in the summer?

Let’s break it down:

Stop beating yourself up

Listen, shit happens. Beating yourself up and droning on about what a failure you are isn’t gonna make your situation any better. Don’t sit there and lament the coulda woulda shouldas – let’s just accept where you are now. Give yourself some grace and honesty.

Take a look at what went wrong and do so through a loving lens. Did you take too much on? Did you realistically have time to tackle all the things you set out to do? Did you make the necessary adjustments in your life to be able to accommodate your goals? Again, this isn’t to beat yourself up, you just need to get a realistic read on it so you can make the necessary adjustments when you decide to try again.

Focus on one thing at a time

We tend to hit the start a new goal thinking we can do a complete 180 in our lives within three months. You’re gonna sort out your finances, be more consistent with workouts, overhaul your diet and spend more time with the kids? Whoooaaaaa there! Slow down!

Pick just ONE thing and pour your energy into that. Once you find your footing with that one thing and feel comfortable, confident and consistent in the work you’ve done around it, THEN you can layer in tackling one of the others. But even then, do it slowly, gradually – it’s not a race.

Goldilocks your goal

Before you commit to something, if you want it to stick, you’ve really got to pitch it right. I call this ‘Goldilocksing your goals’. It can’t be so small that it’s too easy and you lose interest, but it can’t be so big that you can’t keep up with it and it becomes demotivating.

You’ve got to find that sweet spot in the middle, where it stretches you just beyond what is comfortable, but is manageable enough for you to be consistent with.

Give it 30 days, feel it out, adapt

Don’t go into it thinking ‘I have to do this forever!’ Treat it more like an experiment. Commit to it for 30 days and just see how it feels. Approach it with curiosity; “I wonder how I’ll feel if I do this consistently for 30 days.” At the end of those 30 days, reassess, reflect, what worked? What didn’t? Do you need to tweak the way you do the thing, when you do it, where? Allow yourself to ebb and flow with it a bit, be flexible.

Basically, time, patience and grace in all things, babes.

Real change takes time. It often takes several attempts. If you want it, find a way to make it work and the four steps above will make it that much more manageable for you.